


The terrifying rarity of truth

by orphan_account



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-13
Updated: 2014-02-13
Packaged: 2018-01-12 06:11:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1182819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim figures it out before they do and decides to give them a little push.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The terrifying rarity of truth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wingfields (dammitbones)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=wingfields+%28dammitbones%29).



> Title from 'Haunt' by Bastille.

At this point, Jim really had to admit some of the things he innocently declared on the bridge when Bones was around had the sole purpose of provoking the bickering that was sure to follow between him and Spock. It was prime time entertainment, in his opinion. 

"Honestly, it'll be refreshing not to have any diplomatic missions for a while. Humans are difficult but man, some species out there... talk about attitude problems."

"I am forced to agree, Captain. However illogical, erratic and tactless humans can be-"

"Oh, good god, don't start."

Jim grinned and leaned back on his chair, way too satisfied with himself.

"Doctor?"

"You're always so quick to insult us-"

"Insult you? Doctor, as you and the Captain are so fond of pointing out, I am half human. I am therefore not excluding myself from any... observations regarding human behavior."

"That's the first I'm hearing about that. You usually make a point to assert the difference."

"You misunderstand. I do not deny that I am plagued with the same unfortunate conditions as you are, but I must remind you of the other half of my heritage. I was raised Vulcan. There is an array of attributes that aid me in... muting that human side of me."

"So it's only okay to be human if you don't let it show? If you become a cold-blooded, emotionless rock."

"If that is how you see me."

Jim's smile faded. Bones was too busy rolling his eyes to notice and the rest of the bridge crew was hunched over their own workstations, listening in, as usual, but leaving them be nonetheless. But Jim noticed. Spock's voice didn't crack but his eyes gave it away. He was actually offended... hurt, even? Nah, no way, Spock? They'd always been like this, and everyone had heard Leonard saying way worse than that before, so why would he care?

"That's not what I said, Spock. I didn't mean it like that."

Wait, what? Was he apologizing? Since when did he bother? Jim was missing something, he had to be.

"Regardless of your intention, Doctor, you do seem to have a remarkably easy time painting me as emotionless while I assure you that is the furthest from the truth."

Oh. _Oh._ Jim's smile crept back to his lips.

"It sure doesn't show." McCoy mumbled back, eyes on the floor.

Oh, this was perfect. And they were clueless, obviously, both of them. Idiots. This was going to be even better than the fighting. Jim's face looked like it was Christmas morning.

"What are you smiling for?" Bones shot with a glare. 

"Nothing."

"Well if it's nothing you don't mind me reporting back to medbay."

"By all means, Doctor."

He rolled his eyes at the tone and stormed off without so much as a nod to anyone else.

Spock followed him with his eyes, hands still peacefully clasped behind his back, turning to Jim as Leonard stepped into the turbolift.

"The Doctor seems more... on edge than usual."

"Humans really are creatures of passion, aren't they?" He asked with that Kirk-patented smirk.

"Captain?"

"Nevermind, Mr. Spock."

He raised an eyebrow but said nothing else as he walked back to his station. Jim didn't miss the quick glance he shot at the turbolift doors on his way, though.

 

A few minutes later, Jim announced he was going to drop in for a bit in sickbay, just to "check if Doctor McCoy is feeling better, wouldn't want him to push himself under stress", leaving the bridge to a confused Spock.

He was greeted by the ever cheerful Christine. 

"Doctor McCoy is in his office, Captain." She told him before he could ask.

"Thank you, Nurse Chapel."

"If I may say, sir, it is refreshing to see you walk in here unharmed."

He beamed at her and buzzed the comm on Bones' office door as she walked away to check on a patient. Another routine burn incident in Engineering, most likely.

The door swooshed open and he walked in, waiting for a verbal acknowledgement of his presence.

"What do you want, Jim?" He was going over storage data and didn't even look up from the PADD, but Jim took it as in invitation to take a seat across the desk from him.

"I just wanted to check on you. See if you're okay."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"That was uh, pretty intense up there."

He sighed and put down the PADD to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"There better be a point to this conversation. I'm busy, Jim, I don't have time for your games."

"Then let's jump to the part where you tell me what you've been keeping for yourself, I suspect for quite a long time already, now that I've been thinking about it under this... new light." He gestured vaguely with his hand and McCoy looked ready to stab him.

"What the hell are you talking about? New light on what?"

"You and Spock."

"What?!" He spluttered back.

"Oh, come on, Bones, don't do this with me, it's pointless."

He was fuming but he knew Jim was right so he refrained from shouting at him again. Resting his elbows on the desk, he ran his hands through his own hair, pushing it back and tugging a bit too hard in frustration.

"I don't want to talk about this, Jim."

"Well, you shouldn’t, not with me."

He looked up at him confused and Jim just stared at him and leaned in an inch, as if it was too obvious for him to bother with an actual explanation.

"What, the hobgoblin? Are you out of your mind?" His voice was rising again and he caught himself, pushing himself back on the chair and slumping with a grunt of exasperation.

"Why do you keep talking about him like that?" He furrowed his eyebrows together and shook his head lightly. "I don't get it, Bones, you _obviously_ don't hate him so what is it?" He exaggerated the 'obviously' so strongly Leonard rolled his eyes.

"What about it? It's not like it bothers him."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"And you do?" He mocked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Maybe." He said with a half-hearted shrug and a grin.

"Enlighten me, then."

"Really? You've never noticed?"

"Don't piss me off, Jim, I'll throw you out of here."

He had reasons to believe him, unfortunately, and he couldn't just let it go.

"It does bother him." Jim's serious tone didn't keep Bones from snorting.

"Why would he care?"

"For the same reason it bothers you to think he doesn't."

His heart skipped a beat at the hopefulness Jim was trying to push into him and he looked away, fingers drumming nervously on the clean surface of the desk.

"I don't think so."

"Have you asked him?" All he got in response was a glare. "You should."

"Jim..."

"I'm serious. Get yourself out of that pit, already. I'm a little mad at myself that it took me so long to see how much this was messing with you. Looking back now, it was kind of obvious all along."

Bones huffed and rolled his eyes. Jim got up from his seat and paused behind the chair.

"You can keep denying it to yourself, and that's up to you, but just remember you're not the only one hurting here." Bones glanced up and back down in a second, unable to meet that piercing, all-too understanding gaze. "And if you do care like I think you do, like I know you do, maybe it's time you start letting that show."

He left with nothing else other than a 'see you later' and walked back to the bridge, leaving Leonard to spend the remaining hours of the shift looking at the same listings over and over again without taking in a single word.

Now all Jim needed was to push from the other side too, and he knew just when to do it.

 

They shared occasional chess matches in the evenings, usually after long talks centered entirely around work. It was good for both of them to relax.

"Spock." He broke the comfortable silence as he moved one of his pieces. "We're friends, right?" He was pretty sure the only reason that wasn't met with the quirk of an eyebrow was because he was too focused on the game. 

"I do not understand your sudden need for reassurance on the status of our relationship." Jim groaned in frustration causing him to add to the obviously unsatisfactory response. "But seeing as you seem agitated about this, I will indulge you. Yes, we are friends."

"And friends talk about things, right? Personal things."

"How personal?"

"Feelings. Of the uh, romantic nature."

There was the eyebrow.

"Your feelings, Spock. Towards a certain someone." He insisted.

He looked back at the board between them.

"I assure you I do not know to whom you are referring."

"Really? You're gonna make me say it?"

He made his next move without a word.

"Spock, come on, you can tell me."

"If you are so certain you already know, there is nothing to tell."

"So you admit it."

He closed his eyes for a brief moment in what seemed to Jim like the Vulcan equivalent to an exasperated sigh.

"Check." This made Jim look down at the game that he was apparently close to losing and he frowned at it for a second but he quickly decided he didn't care and looked back up at Spock, waiting for the reply that was still yet to come. "Admit to what?"

"That you have feelings for Doctor McCoy." He smiled at the formality, amusingly strange in his voice in this context.

Spock's cheeks were now a lovely shade of green.

"You're blushing! I knew it, I knew I was right."

"Check mate. Your distraction cost you the match, Jim."

"I don't care, this is a victory in its own. You're in love with him!"

Spock blushed deeper.

"I would not be so quick to put it in those terms." He wasn't looking up, busying himself with resetting the board.

"So what, it's just infatuation? Just a harmless crush? Come on, Spock, I've seen the way you look at each other."

That seemed to get his attention because now he was looking directly at Jim.

"Each other?"

Jim's smile grew impossibly wider.

"I think the rest of this conversation should be between the two of you."

"I do not believe I share your faith in this, Jim. I find it improbable that someone who behaves towards someone the way Doctor McCoy does towards me would want to have a conversation of that nature with that someone. Or of any other nature, to be exact. I believe he simply does not like spending time around me in any way." There was a glint in his eyes, Jim could see it no matter how hard he was trying to hide it. There was a pause but he changed the subject before Jim could add to it. "Would you care for one last rematch? I do not believe you would let me go for the night as the victor."

"No, that's unacceptable. But I'm telling you, I'm right about this, about him. Trust me." Spock offered him a smile, a weak one but it was there and that was already something for Jim. "Bring it on." He challenged with a nod to the board, a smug look on his face and an undeniable tone of satisfaction in his voice that had little or nothing to do with the game.

A game he ended up losing again, sending Spock to his own quarters anyway. When questioned, he simply said they had 'a big day tomorrow', dismissing the Vulcan's confusion since they had nothing scheduled but quadrant surveillance and charting for weeks.

 

Except nothing happened the next day. Or the one after that. In fact, Bones didn't set foot on the bridge one single time for three whole days.

On the fourth, he even sent someone else to get the Captain's signature on his medical log, which wasn't exactly forbidden but it sure as hell wasn't regulation either. Not to mention it was odd for Bones to delegate on matters like that, and Jim would've been concerned if he didn't know exactly why he'd done it.

He all but stormed off the bridge with the PADD taken from the startled ensign who'd taken it to him and had to stand next to his Captain through an awkwardly tense turbolift ride and rush to keep up with him on their walk to medbay.

He didn't bother getting permission to go into his office, leaving the ensign behind and slamming the PADD down on Leonard's desk. He actually jumped in his seat, since he hadn't even noticed he'd walked in. He had no time to protest because Jim started yelling.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

He didn't shout back, he practically whispered.

"Have you lost your mind? You can't just barge in here and start screaming at me, I'm working and my staff is right outside!" It worked to get Jim's attention to the fact that he really was pushing it, no matter how angry he was.

Jim was breathing hard through his nose and his fists were clenched at his sides.

"Sit down, Jim." He said with a sigh. Jim was thrown off by how calm he was and complied without protest. They sat in silence for a few seconds, Jim's eyes on Bones and Bones' eyes on anything but Jim's.

"I haven't seen you on the bridge in four days."

"I don't work on the bridge, I work down here." Jim scoffed at the irony and of course even Leonard knew how ridiculous what he was saying was.

"Bones... I didn't say anything over dinner or lunch the past few days because I figured I shouldn't push it, but you seemed fine. But this? Sending someone else to do routine work? Downright avoiding the bridge for _days_ , really?"

"Jim..."

"No, listen, this is ridiculous. You have to talk to him. He won't go to you, that's for sure. He thinks you don't want him around."

Leonard's eyes went wide.

"You talked to him?"

"Jesus, Bones, focus. He thinks you hate him!"

"What? Why?"

Jim just gave him a way too overdramatic eye roll.

"Ok, fine, so I'm not exactly nice to him, but neither is he!"

"He's Spock, Bones, do you really want to make this comparison?"

Bones slumped back on his chair with a goddamn _pout_. The conversation wasn't going anywhere productive and Jim decided to change tactics.

"You know what, fine. Just forget it." He got up and started heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" He was confused about Jim just leaving like that, it was odd for him to just drop it.

"To the _bridge_ , to do my _job_." Bones rolled his eyes to the back of his skull at the tone. "I want you in debriefing room 6 in half an hour. We're getting back to planet-side missions in a few weeks and I want to get the formal crap set up soon so we don't have to do it when we're actually busy." The door swooshed open and he was one step out when he poked his head back in. "It's the one by the observation deck."

"I know where the damn room is." He grumbled back.

"Good. Don't be late." The door closed behind him and Leonard let out a groan of frustration.

 

He wasn't late, of course. He wouldn't dare piss off Jim further than he already was.

He was standing by the door when he arrived and as soon as he was within grabbing distance of Jim he was pulled away from his intended direction and towards the observation deck.

"Jim, what the-" He cut himself short at the sight of Scotty and, most importantly, Spock standing next to each other, waiting.

"Mr. Scott!" Jim called out. "I'm going to need your assistance in the nearest rec room, I trust that you have bourbon somewhere?"

"Aye, Captain." He replied with a knowing smile and started heading out of the room.

Jim walked Bones up to Spock and only let go of his arm when they got to him.

"It's not an order, but I'd prefer it if you two didn't leave this room until you've talked about what’s long overdue between you." He didn't give them a second to protest as he walked out and instructed a lieutenant in security to stay outside and make sure nobody else went in.

They were gaping at him, Bones a little more openly than Spock, until they were alone behind the closed doors of the massive room half covered in thick layers of glass behind layers of lord knows what to keep them safe from everything on the other side.

They stood in painfully uncomfortable silence for seconds that seemed to drag on forever until Spock's voice sounded over the almost dead-still quietness of the place, nothing but the low hum of the engines as background noise.

"I apologize for the... trap. I was just as deceived as I believe you were."

Leonard closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. If he really had to do this then he might as well get it started.

"Guess I can't be too mad at him, he does have a point." He didn't look at him, his eyes were fixed on the stars and on everything out there he was so damn scared of. Apparently he was more scared of this.

"I suppose I should apologize for my behavior."

Leonard looked at him with an arched eyebrow.

"What behavior?"

"I wish I could be more precise, Doctor, but the truth is I do not know. But I apologize for whatever I did or said that caused you to resent me so much."

Leonard's stomach churned. Jim was right, he did think he hated him. And it did bother him, and how that wasn’t obvious to him before, he didn’t know.

Or it could be that the whole denial and avoidance business had a little hand in keeping him in the dark.

"Spock..." He said before taking a deep breath and turning on his heels so he was facing him full-body. "You didn't do anything wrong, I did."

A crease formed between Spock's impossibly neat eyebrows as he looked at him.

"I've been nothing short of a complete asshole to you, not to mention openly disrespectful of your heritage since the day we met, if I'm being completely honest. And I'm sorry."

Leonard didn't quite get how a sentence with the word 'asshole' in it could've possibly sounded so formal but he found that he had no idea how to open up to Spock, and it was turning and twisting his insides around.

"I never meant any of it, you know? I really didn’t." He went on, trying to relax as much as he could.

"Then why did you-"

"Because I'm a coward and it's easier to be rude than to be honest about my feelings."

Spock raised a questioning eyebrow at that word and Leonard blushed and crossed his arms tight over his chest, looking away. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked over it to find warm brown eyes looking down at him from a couple of inches up.

He turned around slowly and let his arms fall at his sides. Spock's hand slid down from his shoulder to his wrist, slowly making its way to graze his fingers against Leonard's.

His mouth fell open at the surprising comfort of the intimate gesture from Spock and he stepped closer, their bodies mere inches from each other, bringing their hands up between their chests and never pulling his fingers away from Spock's. 

He leaned in, hesitant, unsure if what he wanted to do was okay with him.

Spock felt his uncertainty and placed his other hand at the small of the doctor's back, pressing them together. Leo's free hand came up to cup his cheek and gently pull him down to close the small gap that still remained between their lips. The kiss was slow and warm and they gave themselves into it completely.

Their fingers finally unlocked in place of bringing them up to run through each other's hair. Spock tugged gently and Leo deepened the kiss, parting his lips just enough to trace Spock's with his tongue. He responded with a soft bite at Leonard's lower lip and another sweet, chaste kiss before pulling away.

"Wow." McCoy let out. "That was some first kiss."

"I believe I am feeling the same way about it."

"And about me?" 

Spock paused to make sure their eyes met.

"I love you, Leonard. I've known this for far too long."

Bones let out a breath and pressed their foreheads together for a brief second.

"I love you too." He smiled like Spock hadn't even known him capable of. "Clueless as to why, lord help me," he added teasingly. "But I do, so damn much."

He earned a quick peck in response that turned into a series of them when Leo wouldn't let him go, pausing between each one to reinforce apologies and let Spock assure him there was nothing else to be sorry for.

They did agree they'd apologize to Jim later, though. He didn't even dare say a joking word of taunt about Spock's hug after that night's chess match. And, for a while, it became something of a habit for Bones to replace the storming off the bridge after a good bickering session with a quick pinch to his best friend's shoulder and a mouthed 'thank you'.

 


End file.
